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He Flu Away

, , , , | Right | May 24, 2021

I’ve been out of work for a few days with the flu. I’m back at work because I got told I’d get written up if I called out again. Thankfully, we’re not busy at all, so it’s not a huge issue. One of our regulars comes in. He’s a super creepy man in his sixties, while I’m a female in my twenties. He comes to my window.

Customer: “Hey, [My Name]. Haven’t seen you in a while. Where’ve you been?”

Me: “Oh, I was out for a few days. What can we help you with?”

Customer: “Just a deposit, please. You have a slip?”

I hand him a deposit slip. He leans into my window, a few inches from my face, and tries to grab my pen — the same pen I’ve been coughing on all day.

Me: “Hang on. I’ll get you a pen.”

Customer: “But I want yours.”

He grins and winks at me.

Me: “I don’t think you want this one. I’ll grab you a new one.”

Customer: “But I want this one!”

He reaches into my window, grabs my pen, and fills out his deposit slip with a flourish.

Customer: “Ha!”

I decide this is not a battle worth fighting and turn my attention to entering his deposit.

Customer: “No smile today? C’mon, give me a smile.”

I hand him his receipt with a straight face.

Customer: “Why aren’t you smiling?”

I get a tickle in my throat. I turn and cough loudly into my elbow and then face him again with a deadpan expression.

Me: “Because I have the flu, [Customer].”

He dropped my pen like it was hot and ran out the door. I got lectured. Worth it!