He Didn’t Try Very Hard(ware)

(It’s the holidays, and the store is packed with Christmas shoppers. One guy, in particular, grabs a bunch of purses and clothes and then runs out of the store, setting off the alarms. Company policy prevents any of us from chasing, so the managers call the police. They come out and get a report, as well as camera footage and descriptions. A couple hours later…)

Manager: “So, that guy who robbed us? The police found him.”

Coworker: “Already? I figured it was a lost cause.”

Manager: “I did, too, but I guess he didn’t get far.” *trying really hard not to laugh*

Coworker: “What happened?”

Manager: *laughing* “They found him in [Hardware Store]’s parking lot! He was sorting through the merchandise.”

Coworker: “You mean [Hardware Store] five shops down from us?”

Manager: “Yes!”