He Didn’t Like It And That’s… Nice?

Me: “Thanks for calling [Restaurant] in [Town]. What can I do for you tonight?”

Caller: “Hi, uh, I ordered for a delivery, but I didn’t like it.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Let’s see what we can do about that.” *while I’m pulling up all delivery orders for the day* “So, what was up with the food?”

Caller: “Uh, I dunno.”

Me: “O-okay. Was it overcooked? Cooked not enough? Not the right ingredients or toppings? What did you order?”

Caller: “We got a pizza and some wings.”

Me: *now that the page has loaded* “Okay, what was the address?”

Caller: *gives address* 

Me: “Huh. I don’t have anything matched in the system for that address today. When did you place the order?”

Caller: *vaguely* “A while back.”

Me: *head meets counter* “Does yesterday sound plausible?”

Caller: “No, it was longer than that. Gimme a sec.” *pauses, shuffling in the background* “It was last Friday.”

Me: “It is now Wednesday.” *thinking maybe a refund was issued but hasn’t yet shown up on the bank’s end* “Did you call earlier to let us know? Are you still waiting on a refund? Generally, refunds to a card take about—”

Caller: “No, this is my first call. I just didn’t like the food. My wife and kids did. But I didn’t.”

Me: “Um. Okay. Do you want a refund? I’ll have to check with my manager—”

Caller: “Nah, that’s fine. Just thought I should tell you. I didn’t like my food.”

Me: *speechless* “Okay. Thanks for letting us know.”

Caller: “You’re welcome.” *click*