He Also Likes Turtles!

(When I am a child, my family goes on one of those “lost river” boat rides at an amusement park. The guide selects me to be his assistant.)

Guide: “It’s your job to warn people of danger. If you see trouble, shout into the microphone. Let’s practice. Shout, ‘Alligator!’”

Me: “Alligator!”

(A little way down the river, there’s an animatronic bear.)

Guide: “Uh-oh, looks like trouble. Better warn everyone.” *hands me the microphone*

Me: “Alligator!”