He Already Has One Of Those Machines At Home

(I’m a cashier, and I have this one customer who has been known to make lewd comments to my female coworkers.)

Customer: “Are you having a good weekend?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be working here. You ought be out with your girlfriends making whoopie.”

Me: *kind of stunned* “Okay…”

Customer: “You have the looks of a love machine.”

(By this time, the people in line behind him are looking at him. Finally, I get him rung up and through the line and start ringing up the next customer, who I can tell is trying his best to keep from laughing, as am I.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Next Customer: “I’m good, probably better than you just now.”

Me: *singing* “Oh, I’m just a love machine. I’m just a love machine…”