Hazards Lights Don’t Undo The Hazard

I’m a city parking enforcement officer, writing a ticket for a car that’s been double-parked in front of a clearly marked red curb. I’m nearly done when the driver comes running over, coffee in one hand, waving the other.

Driver: “Whoa, whoa! I was only in there for two minutes!”

Me: “You’re parked in a fire lane, sir. It doesn’t matter how long.”

Driver: “But I left my hazard lights on!”

Me: “That doesn’t make it legal.”

Driver: “Come on, man. You can let this go. I was grabbing a sandwich.”

Me: “Not my call. Fire lanes need to stay clear.”

Driver: “This is just a cash grab, isn’t it? You wait around to trap people.”

Me: “I’m not hiding, sir. I’m wearing neon.”

Driver: “Unbelievable! I was in and out. Nobody got hurt.” 

Me: “Next time, park legally. I hear sandwiches taste better without citations.”