Hawaiian Five-X

Caller: “I want a Hawaiian pizza with extra pineapples.”

Me: “Okay, I can do double pineapple for you—”

Caller: “—I don’t want double. I want way more. I want this thing to taste like pineapple with a side of pizza. I want Italy to go to war over this single pizza.”

Me: *Laughing.* “I think we can go 5X for the pineapple if you’re happy to pay.”

Caller: “Hit me with that l’ananas goodness, baby.”

The caller paid, and the pineapple monstrosity was constructed. The kitchen actually smelled of cooked pineapple for a while, which was pleasant, but when the pizza came out, it was a bit unwieldy getting it into the box. The caller came by to collect, and as soon as we handed over the box, she opened it, screamed with delight at what she saw, and thanked us.

Caller: “I live with three generations in my house, and they all hate pineapple. For once I’m gonna get a meal without siblings and nephews stealing a slice until I only have one left because mama says ‘sharing is caring’.”

Me: “Yeah, that sounds annoying.”

Caller: “Sorry for the TMI, but this makes me sooooo happy! Thank you!”

She squeals in delight again, closes up the pizza box, and drives on home, hopefully to enjoy a hot meal undisturbed by family members…