Mrs. Pac-Man Has Other Appetites

(My boyfriend is easily distracted by his phone, cat, or Internet videos. Stories like this happen a lot. We are going to a party later and he has just gotten off the phone with our friend and is about to look up the directions. We also were about to have sex, so we are lying naked in his bed.)

Boyfriend: “Why is the map app asking me to play this game?” *starts playing game*

Me: “What are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know. It was there so I started playing!”

Me: *looks down at my body and back up to him* “Are you kidding me?!”

Boyfriend: “Oh, right, sorry. Don’t worry. You will always matter more to me than [Female Game Character].” *closes the game and actually looks up the directions before turning back towards me*