Haven’t Got A Dog’s Chance

(I have a dachshund who weighs about 11 pounds, full grown. Many people feel that it was okay to pick him up. He is a very sweet dog, and at this point has never snapped at anyone, but as he’s aged he has started to growl a bit when children try to carry him. I also have a niece, twelve years old at the time, who has always been a bit of a brat and a bully. This occurs as my six-year-old nephew is reaching for my dog.)

Me: “[Nephew], that isn’t a good idea. [Dog] is a grumpy old man now and doesn’t like to be picked up.”

Nephew: “Does he bite?”

Me: “He hasn’t yet, but I’d rather not risk it. Why not just pet him gently instead? He likes that.”

(My niece, who heard the entire thing, decides then to step in.)

Niece: “Oh, please. He won’t bite; just watch.”

Me: “[Niece], don’t!”

(Before I can stop her, my niece grabs up my dog and cradles him in her arms on his back like a baby, sticking her face close to his. She begins to baby-talk to him, only to be met with a fierce snarl and a quick nip to the nose. He doesn’t break any skin, but she shrieks and almost drops him before I can take him from her.)

Niece: “What?! He bit me! Stupid dog!”

Me: “You should have listened.”

(My nephew begins to pet my dog, who responds by licking his fingers.)

Nephew: “You’re the only stupid dog here, [Niece].”

(My niece stormed off to tell her parents, who informed her that she shouldn’t have ignored what I said. She never messed with my dog again, and my dog never bit at anyone after that. He actually became quite fond of my nephew, who always made certain to be gentle with him.)