Have To Be Fully Open On The Fallopian

(My mum is going into hospital for a fairly routine operation. She’s just waited for my two much younger brothers to leave the room before talking about it, as they worry and the nature of the operation makes the boys get very silly.)

Mum: “Good, they’re gone. The operation is scheduled for 10 am, and they’re just going to go in, cut my tubes, and get out. Nothing to worry about. If you can keep an eye on your brothers?”

Me: “Of course.”

Mum: “I wish I didn’t have to do this. Start having babies!”

(I am 23, twelve and fourteen years older than my brothers.)

Me: “No way! I’m not even dating anyone. Do you really not want to have the operation?”

Mum: “It’s safest this way.”

(All three of us were caesareans for health reasons, and she has been told to have any more children would be dangerous. I give my mum a hug and then go through to my brothers’ room. I find them playing with lego.)

Brother #1: “This is the hospital.”

Brother #2: “And this is the doctor that’s going to break Mum’s baby tubes!”

Brother #1: “Mwahahaha!” *gets out a pair of scissors and starts snipping them just above the ‘mum’ lego figure* “Now your daughter will have to have all the babies instead!”

(I go and tell mum that she’d better talk to them, no matter how silly or uncomfortable they get, because otherwise they were going to be very confused!)