Hats Off To Their Patience

, , , , , , | Right | December 30, 2018

(I am in the post office this morning, behind a woman at the counter who wants stamps.)

Customer: “Do you have any with reindeers on them?”

Clerk: *rooting around in box under counter* “Got some somewhere. Let me see…”

(The clerk pulls a box out from under counter, continues rooting, and eventually pulls out a sheet of stamps and shows them to the customer.)

Clerk: “There you go.”

Customer: *picks sheet up and holds it about an inch from her nose* “Do you have any with antlers?”

Clerk: “Not antlers, no. But you asked for reindeer; I thought you wanted reindeer.”

Customer: “Not just antlers, reindeer with antlers. These don’t have antlers.”

Clerk: *pointing to stamps* “Yes, they do, there, see? Antlers.”

Customer: “Those are antlers? I thought they were hats. They’re very small.”

Clerk: “Reindeer don’t wear hats. Those are antlers, normal size.”

Customer: “They seem very small to me. Sure they’re not hats?”

Clerk: “Definitely antlers.” *holds up a sheet of stamps up for the customer to see them*

Customer: “Let me put my glasses on.” *digs glasses out of her purse and puts them on* “No, those are no good. I want bigger antlers. Do you have any with bigger antlers?”

Clerk: “Sorry, those are the only stamps we have with reindeer with antlers.”

Customer: “Even with my glasses on, they still look like hats. Do you think they might be hats?”

(I am mumbling to myself, “Do NOT make the mistake of turning round and asking me if they look like hats! Don’t do it. Just DON’T!”)

Clerk: “I think they look like antlers.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I don’t want those. Do you have any with elves?”

(How the clerk resists asking if the customer wants elves with antlers is beyond me.)

Clerk: “Yes, we have elf stamps.” *puts reindeer “with hats” stamps back in the box, pulls out a sheet of elf stamps* “Are these okay?”

Customer: *looks closely at elf stamps* “Yes, that’s better. I really wanted elves, anyway; they’re much cuter than reindeer.”

(I shake my head slowly. If she really wanted elves, why have I just listened to a five-minute conversation about antlers?)

Clerk: “How many do you need?”

Customer: *pulling letter from her purse* “Just one, for this, please. Could you put it on for me? I don’t see too well.”

(She pushed the letter across the counter, and the clerk affixed the stamp and tossed the letter into a box behind her. Seven minutes of reindeer, antlers, hats, and elves, and the customer never even TOUCHED the stamp!)

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