Hats Off To The Dog’s Eating Habits

, , , | Right | August 31, 2017

(I work in a doggy daycare where we have three separate playrooms for group playtime, with the dogs separated by size into small and big play areas. We also all carry walkie-talkies, in case whoever is supervising playtime needs anything. I am in the small playtime area and a coworker is in the big one when this happens:)

Coworker: *over walkie-talkie* “Um… is [Dog]’s dad Jewish?”

(I immediately grab my walkie and put it to my ear to hear the rest of this.)

Senior Associate: *confused* “Yeah…why?”

Coworker: “Well, she just pooped out a yarmulke…”

(Approximately ten minutes of radio silence follows as everyone lapses into hysterics. From the small playroom I have a clear view into the daycare lobby and main office, and I can see the senior associate, assistant manager, and manager all doubled over laughing. When the laughter eventually subsides, the senior associate goes to the big playroom to check on [Dog], who is totally fine, and collect the yarmulke which, miraculously, is still in one piece. As no one on staff that day is Jewish, no one knows how important a yarmulke is so the management doesn’t feel comfortable throwing it in the garbage and instead puts it into a plastic bag. Later on, when [Dog]’s dad comes to pick her up, everyone immediately congregates in the lobby to watch his reaction. Being a yellow lab, [Dog] is well known for her nutty antics, so her dad just rolls his eyes and smiles when he sees all of us grinning.)

Dog’s Dad: “All right, what did she do this time?”

Senior Associate: *trying desperately to keep a straight face* “Mr. [Last Name] are you… um… are you perhaps missing a yarmulke?”

Dog’s Dad: *surprised* “Yeah, how did you—” *eyes widen in realization* “No…”

Senior Associate: “Well, during camp today, [Dog] kind of…”

Dog’s Dad: “PLEASE don’t tell me she threw up my yarmulke!”

Senior Associate: “I can honestly say she did not throw up the yarmulke.”

Dog’s Dad: *confused for a moment, then eyes bulging in horror* “NO…”

Senior Associate: “Well, it’s still in one piece and we saved it in a bag in case you—”

Dog’s Dad: *shaking his head* “NO.”

Senior Associate: “Okay, well, is there a special way to dispose of—”

Dog’s Dad: “NO.”

([Dog], of course, couldn’t care less about any of this as her dad, still shaking his head, pays for the day and starts to leave.)

Dog’s Dad: “[Dog], I cannot BELIEVE you!”

Me: “Well, you gotta figure God has a sense of humor.”

([Dog’s Dad]’s head whips up to stare at me for a moment before he bursts out laughing.)

Dog’s Dad: “You know what? You’re right. And ‘dog’ is ‘God’ spelled backwards; they are His most beloved creatures.”

Me: “And besides, the threads could’ve tangled up her intestines really badly. At least she’s okay.”

Dog’s Dad: *still smiling* “You’re right. I’m just grateful she’s okay. But seriously, [Dog], give me a break!”

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