Has Their Own A-Gender

(We are in orchestra class, planning who will sleep where for our anticipated three-day trip to New York. It should be noted that my best friend is male, and we have a substitute teacher this day. The substitute today is particularly medieval, and it should be also noted my best friend has an extremely sarcastic sense of humor.)

Substitute: “So,” *points at me* “Who will be sleeping in the room with you?”

Me: “[Best Friend], [Female Friend #1], and [Female Friend #2].”

Substitute: “What?!” *visibly shocked* “Men and women such as yourselves should not be sleeping together!”

Me: “Well, we won’t actually be… you know… sleeping together.”

Substitute: *actually fanning herself* “That is not God’s will. You two aren’t married. I won’t permit you to share a room!”

Best Friend: “I totally understand, ma’am. Though, seeing as I’m gay, maybe it’d be safer sharing a room with [My Name].”

Substitute: *growing red* “Your lifestyle will send you to Hell! Get out of my classroom!”

Best Friend: *visibly annoyed* “I won’t be kicked out of this classroom for my sexual orientation, ma’am. And I will be sharing a room with [My Name], because it’s not your decision and [Orchestra Teacher] already approved it. You know I can get you fired for discrimination, right?”

Substitute: *looks like is about to vomit* “GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! I’m going to the principal about this!”

(She was a particularly witchy woman, and it was the best thing ever when we found out she had been fired. That kind of discrimination doesn’t fly with us! Good riddance, lady!)