Has The Right Stuff But The Wrong Staff

(I spend a lot of my free time volunteering with my church ministry, and am often around as much as any of the actual paid staff members, so a lot of people start recognizing my face. However, since I am not on staff, I do not know a lot of information about the ongoing activities until they are announced to the public.)

Staff Member: “Hello, everyone. My name is [Staff Member], and I am [staff position] here at [Church]. Here are the announcements for the week…” *lists off announcements* “…and if you have any questions, you can come and talk to any of our staff members.”

Parishioner: *coming up to me* “So, can you tell me more about this announcement?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t know anything more about this than what was said during the announcements. The staff members know more. They are the ones wearing the big name tags.”

Parishioner: “But you always know what is going on! Why can’t you tell me?”

Me: “Thanks, but no, I really don’t know any more about this than you do.”

(One day I get a call that none of the staff members would be around to make the announcements during the coming weekend’s service, and asked me to take care of it. During the next service:)

Me: “Hello, everyone. My name is [My Name], and I am only pretending to be a staff member at [Church]. Here are the announcements for the week…” *lists off announcements* “…and if you have any questions, you can find me afterwards and I will do my best to continue to impersonate a staff member.”

(It takes a couple minutes for everybody to stop laughing. Amazingly enough that was the last week people came up to me to ask me questions!)