Has The Authority To Tell You How It Is
(I am 17, working at an outlet for a hardware shop. I have an irate customer who wants a discount because — get this — the drills were too hard to find! He didn’t ask anyone where to find them. He gets a bit abusive after I tell him I can’t do that, and interrupts me before I can get in, “but I can call the manager to handle that.” However, the manager is actually walking past at the time and hears most of the one-sided conversation. He fronts up to this bloke, and says in one of those suppressed-anger sorts of voices the following awesome rebuttal:)
Manager: “Do you know how old this boy is? Do you know how much he earns?”
Customer: “No. Why should I care?” *a lot more calmly, because the manager is a big bloke*
Manager: “He’s 17. And he earns $6 an hour.”
Customer: “Wh—”
Manager: *louder* “Do you know how much authority he has to give you a discount? Not none at all. Not zero. Less than none; less than zero.”
Customer: “How c—”
Manager: “Because, if he works hard, in a year or two he’ll get a promotion, and then he’ll have no f****** authority to give you a discount. Since he’s lower on the scale than that, he must have less than zero authority to do it now, get it?”
Customer: “Well, I—”
Manager: “HE’S SO FAR DOWN THE LINE OF AUTHORITY, HE HAS TO STAND ON A F****** LADDER TO TIE HIS SHOES!”
Customer: “Bu—”
Manager: “Furthermore, sir, he’s a minor, and the way you were talking to him is abuse of a minor, and you could be arrested for it.”
Customer: “Uh, I—”
Manager: “So, in future, if you want a discount, ask someone in authority. Ask me! Don’t abuse the staff; they can’t do anything. I’m the one who can! I’m the only one! Now, put the drills back or pay the full amount, because I’m not going to give you a discount, because you’re a s***head!”
