Has Patience The Size Of A Peanut

(I am an associate at a pet supply store, and I’m a little hard of hearing. A man comes into the store and walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hi. I’ve got some stellar jays that—” *mumble mumble*

Me: *craning my ear to the customer* “Sorry, come again?”

Customer: *loudly* “I’ve got some stellar jays that I give peanuts to. Do you have any peanuts?”

Me: “I’m not sure if we have anything that’s just peanuts, but let’s see what’s on the shelf.”

(I lead him to the birdseed section and we don’t have any peanuts. Without saying anything, I motion to a bag of mixed nuts, which includes peanuts.)

Customer: “No, I need shelled peanuts.” *frames his mouth with his hands to amplify his voice, even though I’m standing right next to him, and SCREAMS* “SHELLED! SHELLED! IN THE SHELL!”

(For the record, in common parlance, “shelled” nuts are ones that have been removed from their shells; he is actually looking for “in-shell” peanuts.)

Customer: “You know what, never mind. Maybe someone else can…”

(He trailed off and turned around, leaving me stunned. He asked my coworker for peanuts; she lead him back to the birdseed and again found no peanuts. She offered to call another store, but the customer snapped, “Forget it!” and stormed out of the store. Later, we got a call from head office saying this customer complained about “the blonde bimbo [me] who doesn’t know what a peanut is.” Considering that I didn’t even get to say three sentences to the guy, I have no idea how he got that impression of me!)