Has Beef With Your Steak

(I am a waitress at a very busy Italian wedding. When we start serving the main course, we do the bridal and parent tables first, then we start at table one and work through to the last table. I’m going out to table six with five plates. As I cross the ballroom, one of the guests unexpectedly grabs my arm, nearly causing me to drop a plate.)

Guest: *pointing to one plate* “What’s that, the steak?”

Me: *very aware that seconds are ticking by and stopping to chat will mess up the entire flow of staff* “Yes, sir, the scotch fillet.”

Guest: “Ah, yes, that’s mine.”

(There were two options for the main course: steak or chicken. We had over 100 steak orders.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, these are going to another table. But I can promise that your meal will be ready very soon.”

Guest: “But that’s mine! I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes!”

(We hadn’t even been serving mains for fifteen minutes. I quickly apologise and go to drop the meals at the correct table. On the way back I hear him talking to his friend:)

Guest: “Can you believe it? That idiot waitress gave my meal to someone else!”

(I went back into the kitchen and the entire wait staff had a good laugh about it. Some people are so oblivious!)