Has All The Equipment Required To Be Rude

, , | Right | December 7, 2018

(This elderly gentleman calls the TV provider I work for, asking to purchase a service. His account populates with a permanent warning instruction: “Caution: repeat caller, customer highly aggressive and verbally abusive.”)

Me: “Welcome to [TV Provider]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help?”

Customer: *under his breath — not sure why he thinks I can’t hear him* “For f***’s sake.

Me: “Apologies, again, my name is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I want [specific service].”

Me: “No worries. I’ll just price that up.”

Customer: “Hmm.”

Me: “So, the subscription itself is free, but your equipment and install come to [three-digit cost].”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I’m not paying that.”

Me: “I do apologise, sir, but the service you have asked for requires equipment supplied by [TV Provider] and an installation.”

Customer: “Don’t need it installed.”

Me: “Do you have the equipment already?”

Customer: “No, but it doesn’t need bloody installed, I tell you.”

Me: “To make sure that your warranty is valid, it does, sir.”

Customer: “Well, f*** off. I’m not paying it.”

Me: “It looks like we are at an impasse, sir; if you are unwilling to pay, I can’t sell you the service you asked for.”

Customer: “Well, that’s f****** b*****ks! You can’t deny me a service! If I go to [Supermarket] and ask for a loaf of bread, they can’t say no, can they!?”

Me: “If you aren’t going to pay for the loaf of bread, they sure can. Now, how would you like to pay?”

Customer: “You know what? I would rather go on eBay and buy one for [sum less than a fast food meal] than you getting my hard-earned money in your filthy back f****** pocket—”

Me: *cutting the customer off* “Will that be all, sir?” *not even taking a beat* “Yes. Goodbye, sir.”

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