Has A Vested Interest In Your Jacket

, , , , | Working | December 11, 2018

(My mom works in a well-known grocery store. On this particular day, she wears her company vest to work. This conversation she has with her coworker follows:)

Coworker #1: “Hey, [Mom], can I borrow your jacket?”

Mom: “I didn’t bring my jacket. I brought my vest.”

([Coworker #1] proceeds to give her a blank stare.)

Mom: “You know, my vest?”

Coworker #1: *blank stare*

(Mom walks off for a second, and comes back with her vest in tow.)

Mom: “See? My vest.”

Coworker #1: *at this point, he is beyond confused* “But… where did you put the sleeves?”

Mom: “[Coworker #1], vests don’t have sleeves.”

Coworker #1: *blank stare*

Mom: “Would you like me to ask [Coworker #2] to get you a jacket?”

Coworker #1: “Oh, uh, sure. I just needed one because I need to go into the freezer.”

(Mom goes and asks her second coworker to get [Coworker #1] his own coat specifically for the freezer, and goes to give it to him.)

Mom: “Okay, [Coworker #1], this is your coat to keep. Write your name in it, and leave it in your car. Don’t leave it in the store overnight.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, okay. Who’s coat is it?”

Mom: “No, [Coworker #1], this is your coat.”

Coworker #1: *blank stare* “Oh. Okay.”

(Later on that same night, Mom asks me this:)

Mom: “Hey, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Mom: “Do you know what a vest is?”

Me: “What?”

Mom: “A vest. Do you know what it is?”

Me: *thinks I’m hearing her wrong, because this sounds like a weird question* “A vest? Do you mean jackets without the sleeves?”

Mom: *relieved* “Good girl.”

(Bear in mind, my mom’s coworker is a junior in college. But my mom did also say that he has ADHD, and you can tell when he’s on his medication due to things like this, so this whole exchange was apparently nothing new for him.)

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