Has A Chip On Their Shoulder About The Lack Of Them

I work in a café in a tourist attraction. We have a limited menu, as we are a small establishment, but there are restaurants to either side of us, so most customers don’t find this a problem. 

Customer: “Hi, love. What’s in your kids’ lunch bags?”

Me: “In the lunch bag there is a sandwich, some crisps, a flapjack, a jelly, and a water.”

Customer: “Okay, can I get one of them, please?”

Me: “Sure, would you like a tuna, cheese, or ham sandwich?”

Customer: “I’ll get a ham and cheese, please.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We have ham or cheese.”

Customer: “But you have ham and cheese sandwiches.”

Me: “Yes, they are all ready-made and the adults’ sandwiches are larger.”

Customer: “Can’t you just stick some ham in the cheese sandwich?”

Me: “No, I don’t make the sandwiches.”

Customer: “Well, who does?”

Me: “The cook.”

Customer: “Okay. Can I get some chips, then?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t sell chips.”

Customer: “What? What kind of place doesn’t sell chips?”

Me: “Umm… this place.”

Customer: “This place is actual s***!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you don’t calm down.”

Customer: “Can I have a glass of tap water? Or do you not have taps?”

By this point, I am so annoyed and feel really disrespected by him.

Me: “Of course, kind sir. Anything for you.”