Has A Cat’s Chance In Hell Of Adopting

Me: “Hello! Are you interested in finding a pet today?”

Customer: *with young son* “Yes. I would like to adopt two cats.”

Me: “That’s fantastic! We have many to choose from.”

Customer: “Too bad my landlord won’t let me have more than one pet at my apartment.” *handing me her phone* “Here’s a picture of my son’s cat.”

Me: “You already have a pet?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: “And you want to adopt two more?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “But your landlord says you can only have one animal in your home?”

Customer: “Oh, the two cats I adopt here won’t live with me! My father just passed away and his house is lonely so they’ll live there.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear about your father, but we can’t do an adoption for cats to live alone in a house.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because we want to make sure that the animals would be properly cared for and if no one lives with them they could run out of food and water or get trapped during an emergency and you might not know about it for days.”

Customer: “Well, I’m paying for the air conditioning to be on at his house so someone should live there!”

Me: “Maybe you could live out the lease at your apartment then move in to your dad’s house.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to have to move my stuff. What if I just tell you I live there?”

Me: “Since I already know that that is a lie, I would not feel comfortable doing the adoption.”

Customer: “Do you even care about the animals here?!”

Me: “Yes, that’s why I don’t want them it have to live alone in a house. They deserve to be cared for.”

Customer: “Maybe I’ll just spend every night at the house so I know they’d be okay!”

Me: “Would your son stay with you?”

Customer: “No! He’s afraid of the house!”

Me: “So, you’re willing to let your young son live alone just so you can adopt these cats?”

Customer: “I’m gonna tell you whatever you need to hear so you’ll give me these animals!”

Me: “Ma’am, I truly am sorry that you lost your father. But the situation you are in right now simply makes me unable to let you adopt an animal from us. If you move or can provide us with written proof that your landlord will allow more pets, come back and see what cats we have at that time.”

Customer: “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer! You don’t even care what happens to these animals!” *storms out the door*