Harry Potter Would’ve Been Stoked

A family comes to my little motel in rural Minnesota. It’s the weekend of a massive event and every hotel for fifty miles is sold out.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry we are completely sold out. Every room we have is currently occupied.”

Lady: “I know you hold some. I’ll take one that you hold.”

Me: “Every room currently has a person in it. You might want to try [Hotel] across the street.”

Lady: “We tried there. We tried everywhere. Even a closet would be fine!”

Me: “We don’t even have any closets with beds. Nothing is available here.”

Lady: “I don’t believe you. Every hotel has closets at the ends of every floor. I will take one of those.”

I realize she is talking about our housekeeping closets!

Me: “Those aren’t rooms. Legally, we can’t sell them.”

She doesn’t even listen to me say this.

Lady: “I’m a five-diamond member! I’m going to call corporate. I know the owner!”

And so on.

Me: “Okay, I’ll show you one of the closets you’re interested in!”

We go on a little field trip to the second floor, and I open up a housekeeping closet so she can see what I’m talking about. It’s a housekeeping closet filled with carts, sheets, plungers, boxes, etc.

Lady: “This is terrible! I have never seen such a filthy room at a hotel! There aren’t even beds!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s a housekeeping closet right there.”

The lady leaves in a huff. Two days later we get an online review saying something like:

Review: “I was shown to my room and there wasn’t even a bed! It was a janitor’s closet and we decided not to stay! Terrible hotel!”