Harry Potter And The Helicopter Christian Mothers

I am a children’s librarian at the height of “Harry Potter” mania. When the sixth book is about to come out, I prepare an activity-packed celebration at the branch and have many kids sign up to come. The day before the program, a mother approaches me.

Patron: “Is there a separate program tomorrow for people who don’t like Harry Potter?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Patron: “As a Christian parent, I believe Harry Potter corrupts children. I don’t want my son exposed to it.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, this certainly isn’t the only program we’re doing this summer. We do evening activities like this every few weeks on a wide variety of topics. Here’s a schedule—”

Patron: “But we’ll be here tomorrow!”

Me: “So, you’d like us to have a second, non-Harry Potter program at the same time for your son to attend?”

Patron: “Yes, exactly!”

Me: “By himself?”

Patron: “I’ll have you know there are many Christian families in this community! I’m sure they’d love to come!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m afraid that just isn’t feasible. We haven’t the space, time, or staff to run two major programs at once on such short notice.”

Patron: “But, but, he’ll feel so left out!”

She demanded to speak to my supervisor, filled out a complaint form, and insisted for fifteen minutes that we should provide wholesome programs as alternatives to the “godless” ones.