Harping On

(I’m working at a high school orchestra concert when the fire alarms go off. As we evacuate the building, I come across a gentleman in the hall trying to get the harp onto a harp-tow.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but you need to leave the hall. We’re evacuating the building.”

Gentleman: “I need to get my daughter’s harp out first.”

Me: “Sir, you need to evacuate.”

Gentleman: “I don’t expect you to understand, but this harp is important and expensive, so why don’t you worry about your pretty little self, while I worry about more important things?”

Me: “Sir, you have a choice: you can either leave on your own, or you can leave in handcuffs. I will have you arrested.”

Gentleman: “I said I’m not leaving with out the harp; get it through your stupid head!”

(A police officer has entered the hall to let me know that the fire department is on their way and that the building is clear except me and this gentleman.)

Police officer: “Problem, [my name]?”

Gentleman: “Yeah, I’m trying to get this harp out of here, and she’s in my way!”

Police Officer: “Aw, that’s too bad. Guess you have to leave with out it. You can leave with me, if you’d like. I’ve got some nice handcuffs.”

(His eyes widen and he bolts from the hall.)

Police Officer: “Well, that’s a shame. Anyways, no fire. Fire department will reset the alarm as soon as they get here.”

(The gentleman’s wife ends up coming in for the harp about 25 minutes later. Surprisingly, she sides with us.)

Gentleman’s Wife: “My husband was an idiot. Thanks to you and your coworkers for a job well done… you should have had him arrested anyway!”