Harnessing Up All Your Parental Power

, , , , | Related | June 20, 2017

(My niece is around two years old but has very advanced speech skills. Shopping with her is always an ordeal because she always takes off running. My sister is pregnant and unable to run after her so buys a toddler harness and lead. This time we are shopping together so she leaves the harness off. My niece of course decides to run out of the shop with me chasing after her. I manage to stop her just outside the door and before she gets to the busy street. She struggles to get out of my grip.)

Niece: “Let go of me.”

Me: “I’m not going to let go until you promise not to run away.”

Niece: “I promise I won’t run away.”

Me: “Okay, let’s go back inside now.”

Niece: “No, I don’t want to.”

Me: “Yes, you are, because I said so.”

Niece: “No, I want to stay here.”

Me: “No, you are coming inside.”

Niece: “Well, I think I’ll just chuck a tantrum then.”

(She looks behind her, sees concrete so gently lowers herself to the ground and takes a deep breath. I’m looking on in quiet amusement and just as she’s ready to start screaming I pick her up by the front of her outfit.)

Me: “Not with me, you don’t.” *carries her back into the shop like she’s a suitcase, she’s so stunned*

Sister: “What are you doing?” *after I explain* “Looks like I have to get the harness out.”

(After she puts it on, my niece is standing by her, nice and content. We leave the shop and an elderly lady notices my niece.)

Lady: “Oh, what a cutie, look at your lovely red curly hair.” *notices harness and snarls to my sister* “How dare you treat that poor baby like she’s a dog. You should be ashamed of yourself. Take that disgusting thing off her right now!”

(My sister, usually very quick-witted and easy to anger, opens her mouth to yell back when my niece starts yelling at the lady in an almost demonic voice:)

Niece: “SHE CAN’T, BECAUSE I ALWAYS RUN OFF!” *gives her an evil grin and goes back to standing contentedly by her mother’s side*

(The woman was so shocked that we left her standing in the middle of the path with her mouth hanging open.)

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