Hard-To-Please-Her Scrooge

(It’s nearing Christmas time, and I am working at the till to cover a coworker’s break. I start to ring through a man’s groceries. Behind him is an old lady, whom I recognize as being a regular. She is always grumpy.)

Man: *quietly* “And I’d like to pay for her stuff, too.”

(I laugh.)

Man: “No, really.”

Me: “Oh! Okay.”

(This has never happened to me before. I look over at the lady’s packages and enter them manually, rather than scanning them, and tell the man his new total.)

Man: “Don’t tell her until after I’m gone.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I finish the transaction, hand him his receipt, and tell him to have a good day. Just as he is about to leave, he drops his wallet. All his cards spill out everywhere, and he has to stop and pick them all up. I put the old lady’s packages in bags and hand them to her.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Old Lady: “What do I owe you?”

Me: “It’s taken care of.”

Old Lady: “What?”

Me: “It’s paid for.”

Old Lady: *scowling* “Who did that?”

(The man is still trying to cram cards back into his wallet without dropping his groceries.)

Me: “Um… him.”

(The old lady starts scowling at him.)

Old Lady: “Why did you do that?”

Man: “Well, it’s Christmas. Merry Christmas.”

(He finally manages to tuck his wallet away and leaves.)

Old Lady: “I know I’ve seen that jerk around somewhere!”