Hard No To Soft Pretzels

(The sandwich chain inside our local big box store installed a very large glass display case full of a dozen or so soft pretzels at one end of their counter. I am a sucker for soft pretzels, and I usually only have them as an occasional treat at the mall, so after a few weeks of walking past the display, I decide to try them out. I approach the only employee, a bored-looking young man.)

Sandwich Artist: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’d like one of those soft pretzels, please?”

(The sandwich artist gives me an incredulous look, and then takes a couple of steps closer to the display case and points at the pretzels inside.)

Sandwich Artist: “Those… aren’t real. Those are plastic.”

(I walk closer and look in. They certainly are plastic.)

Me: “Oh, this is just a display? Do you have some real ones behind the counter, or…?”

Sandwich Artist: “We don’t have any pretzels.”

Me: “Sorry, do you mean that you’re out?”

Sandwich Artist: “We have never sold pretzels.”

(I looked at the display. I looked back at the sandwich artist. Baffled, I walked away. The display remains on the counter to this day, and I continue to wonder whether they truly have never sold an item they devoted a three-foot-tall glass display case to, or if he just didn’t want to serve me one.)