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Happy Fourth Of July!

| Right | July 4, 2019

Dear readers, all of us here at Not Always Right would like to wish our readers from the United States, a very happy Fourth Of July!

To celebrate this Independence Day, here is a small roundup of stories where some might not realize that today is not celebrated in other parts of the world…

 

Leap Days Of Logic

Call Center | Ontario, Canada

(The call center is in Canada, but we have many customers from the USA. This call comes in toward the end of the day on July 4th.)

Caller: “So, did you have a good Fourth of July?”

Me: “Well, I’m in Canada, so it’s just a regular day here, but it was not bad. We do have Canada Day, which is July 1st.”

Caller: *confused* “So… then… is today July 3rd for you, or July 5th?”

 

Trying To Encourage Independent Thought

Gift Shop | Paradise Island, The Bahamas

(I’m decorating our storefront for Independence Day, which is July 10th. In 1973 we gained independence from Britain, though we are still part of the British Commonwealth. The glass doors are decorated with American colours for July 4th and the whole front of the store is decorated with Bahamian colours for July 10th. An American tourist walks up with her husband.)

Tourist: “Miss! You’ve got the date wrong, and why are you using those colours?”

Me: “Oh, yes, ma’am. Bahamian Independence Day is the 10th. These are the colours of the Bahamian flag. I’ve decorated the front door with red, white, and blue for Americans like yourself!”

Tourist: *looks puzzled for a moment* “But Independence Day is on the 4th…”

Me: “Yes ma’am, in the US it is, but here it’s the 10th.”

Tourist: “But it’s July…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. A strange coincidence that they are both in July, isn’t it?”

Tourist: *finally looking resolved* “No! This isn’t right; you should have the right date and colours like every other state, even if you’re on an island!”

Me: “But we aren’t a state… We aren’t even part of your countr—”

Tourist: “State, member, province, whatever, that is no excuse to act un-American! Darn islanders…” *she walks off as her husband glares at me over his shoulder*

 

Independent From Your Day

Tourist Attraction | Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

(Vancouver sees a lot of American tourists. Just like American businesses, we are concerned about counterfeit bills, so typically $50 and $100, US or Canadian, are rarely accepted and there are signs to this effect. This story takes place on a July 4. Exchange rates [generally quite unfavorable] are posted in case they use USD.)

Box Office Box Office Attendant: “Your total is $25 for 2 tickets.”

Customer: “Can you break this $100(USD)?”

Box Office Attendant: “I’m sorry; sir, but we cannot accept bills of that denomination. Do you have anything smaller?”

Customer: “No, and no one takes them. What can I do?”

Box Office Attendant: “You could take it to a bank and exchange it for Canadian.”

Customer: “How? Banks are closed today.”

Box Office Attendant: “Why would they be closed?”

Customer: “It’s a holiday!”

Box Office Attendant: “July 4th is not a holiday in Canada, sir. Today is a regular weekday.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you don’t celebrate Independence Day! Why don’t you?”

Box Office Attendant: “That’s your holiday; we have Canada Day on July 1. Banks are closed that day.”

Customer: “It would be lot easier if you followed our holidays.”

Box Office Attendant: “We’ll keep that in mind. Perhaps you have a credit card?”

 

The War Of 1812 Revisited

Supermarket | Canada

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

Old Man: “Thank you. Is your family doing anything for the 4th of July?”

Me: “Not really. We’re Canadian so we may hold a BBQ on July 1st, which is Canada Day.”

Old Man: “WHAT? You’re not American? I thought all foreigners had to become American when they came to this country!”

Me: “No, sir, my family all has green cards, so we’re all still Canadian citizens.”

Old Man: “I’M SICK OF ALL YOU F****** ILLEGAL ALIENS TAKING ALL OUR F****** JOBS! AN AMERICAN BOY SHOULD HAVE YOUR JOB!”

 


For all the customer service employees out there who have to work on the holiday, we wish you luck and patient customers from all here at Not Always Right! Of course, if you do end up with some awful customers, you know where to send those!

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