Happy Every Holiday

(It’s that time of year where people are getting upset over “Happy Holidays” instead of just saying “Merry Christmas.” I have had many people point this out and complain when I wish them a Happy Holidays after check out, so after the third one I start saying something else. And before you guys ask I did in fact look everything up that I didn’t know and a few of these things I knew before hand.)

Me: “Thank you, sir, Happy Holidays!”

Customer: “Why do people say that? You don’t have to be politically correct all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Have a Happy Hanukkah!”

Customer: “I don’t celebrate that.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but today is the third day of Hanukkah. That’s the holiday going right now.”

Customer: “But I don’t celebrate that!” *leaves with a huff*

(Later that day:)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Happy Holidays!”

Customer: “Oh, sweety, I’m a Christian. Please don’t say that to me.”

Me: “Oh! Well, Happy Saint Lucia’s Day, then!”

Customer: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “That’s the Christian holiday today. Are you celebrating with family?”

Customer: “What? No! I celebrate Christmas at the end of the month. That’s the only Christian holiday!” *she storms off*

(I said Happy Advent. I said ChristmaHanukkwanza once. The eight nights of Hanukkah were fun because they were early in the month that year. There are many holidays I said that were real and going on. I did this multiple times and was surprised I wasn’t fired, but my manager thought it was entertaining. Honestly, we are all tired of getting yelled at for saying Happy Holidays, which we are supposed to say to not upset anyone.)