Hanging Out All Your Dirty Laundry To Everyone

(For a few days now, my roommate has been asking me when he can use the washing machine to do his laundry and it seems to always be in function every time he needs it, but quickly finishes a few minutes after he asks. He stays up, playing games, until late, even with work the next day, at times when the washing machine is free to use. I had an accident earlier that day with a cup of coffee which spilled over the tablecloth I was using on my table, where all my electronics were and I quickly ran a short wash so it would be clean.)

Roommate: *opening the door to the room where the washing machine is* “Again?!”

Me: “Yeah… I had an accident today with coffee but it should be done fairly quickly. I put it on 30 minutes ago.”

Roommate: *grunting* “I had a very urgent wash to do and I was hoping to do it now.”

Me: “If you really need it, I can stop the ongoing process and you can use it. If it is that urgent, I don’t mind.”

Roommate: “No, it is fine.”

Me: “I can also take care of it tonight if you want. I have nothing planned so I can stay up and hang your laundry so it will be dry when you get back.”

Roommate: “No, it is okay.”

(Surely enough, just minutes after he goes upstairs, the washing machine stops, so I go upstairs to tell him, as usual, that it is now free to use. My roommate tells me that it is ok and never comes back down to use said machine.  40 minutes later, our common friend sends me a text message on a social media app.)

Common Friend: “Hey. So, [Roommate] is speaking to me about how much of a terrible human being you are.” *smiley face*

Me: “What?”

Common Friend: *pasting the entire text that [Roommate] sent to him* “Hey, can I use your washing machine? It’s been days. I tried to get to use mine but [My Name] is always using it and I am tired of it. She told me to wait, but I need it tonight and I can’t leave the laundry all night or it will smell terrible and I will have to do it all over again. She even asked me if I wanted to have her stop her wash but I told her that it was okay. She even said that she would care for it for me, and hang it during the night but I told her that it was fine since there’s only two people I trust with my laundry: my mom, and myself.”

Me: *upon reading that text* “Oh, yeah, I am such a despicable human being for washing the various covers and curtains and kitchen cloths around the house and telling him when the washing machine was free, which always is mere minutes after he asks, but he never uses it and goes to bed at three am for three days. I am not responsible for his lack of organisation.”

Common Friend: “I know. I just thought it was hilarious so I felt like sharing.”

(The kicker? Roommate did use the washing machine — two days after the urgent time he needed the laundry, then left the entirety of his clothes to “smell bad” in the washing machine, and picked them up in the afternoon.)