Your Crystal Is Talking Balls

Telemarketer: “Hello, Ms. [My Name]?”

Me: “It’s me.”

Telemarketer: “Hello, I work for the great psychic and numerologist Madam [Name]. Your profile was chosen because of its deep numerological meaning. The numbers say you have a generous heart and you’re going to get some good news about work and love. However, there’s a jealous woman who wants to harm you. If you want to know more about your future, you just need to pay seven euros for five minutes.”

Me: *deadpan* “That’s nice of you, sir, but you’re too late. The jealous woman killed me yesterday and buried me in the garden. I’m a ghost and I can hardly answer the phone so the best thing you can do is phoning a living person. Have a great day!”

(I could actually hear him laugh on the phone!)