Hammering Home The Lesson

| Learning | December 25, 2015

(In our home-ec class, we have high tech, anatomically realistic dolls that we have to take care of for a weekend. If they start crying, you have to simulate feeding them by sticking a key in them for a few minutes. The key is chained around your wrist until you get back to class at the beginning of the week, so you can’t pass it on to anyone else. If you let the doll’s head snap back (which is horrifically easy to accidentally do) it would start screaming and crying for a while. You can’t turn them off because it required a special key that only the teacher has. Many classmates are highly annoyed with their “babies” come Monday…)

Classmate #1: “It started crying while I was in the shower! I had to hang my arm out through the curtain for like ten minutes while my mom held the baby so I could ‘feed’ it!”

Classmate #2: “I think mine is defective! It started crying almost every hour on the dot!”

Classmate #3: “I was scared to set it down because every time I tried to do that the d*** thing’s head snapped back!”

(The teacher gets to a classmate who strangely has his baby wrapped up in a blanket.)

Teacher: “Why is your baby wrapped up like a mummy?”

(Classmate #4 pulls the doll out and the teacher is horrified to see that it’s mangled.)

Classmate #4: “It wouldn’t stop crying, so my dad and I took turns beating it with a hammer.”

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