Half-Baked Attempt At Eating Healthy

(Dinner at my nephew’s wedding is delicious. It’s also Southern: barbecue, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans cooked with onion and a ham hock. The wedding cake is red velvet. There is one lonely-looking salad, included perhaps to keep the entire menu from being blackballed by the American Heart Association.)

Out Of Town Guest: *poking the chicken dubiously* “Maybe if it was baked…”

Local Guest: “Oh, honey. This is Missouri. We don’t bake anything.”