Half A Sandwich For Half A Brain

(I work in a sandwich shop where you can purchase a foot-long or six-inch sandwich. Two women walk into my shop.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Woman #1: “We want half a sandwich, each.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that today. What kind of bread would you like?”

Woman #2: “Wheat, but we only want half of it, each.”

Me: “That’s no problem. Six-inch sandwiches are very common. Now, what kind of–”

Woman #1: “No! We want half of that!”

Me: “Uh, okay, so you want three inches, each?”

(The women both look at each other and nod. I cut a six-inch piece and hold it up.)

Me: “Okay, just so we can clarify before I cut it, I’m cutting this piece in half and you want half of it, each. If you like, I can just charge you for one six-inch since you’re getting the same kind of sandwich.”

Woman #1: “Alright, that’s good. Thanks for the offer.”

(I start cutting the bread into three-inch pieces.)

Woman#1: “What are you doing?!”

Me: *startled* “Well, I’m giving you your three-inch sandwiches.”

Woman #2: “No! We wanted one of those each!” *points at the other half*

Me: “So, you each want a six-inch sandwich?”

Woman #2: “No! We want half a six-inch!”

Me: “Ma’am, our regular sandwich is twelve inches. The one you just pointed at is six inches.”

Woman #1: “I don’t care for your measurements! Just give us what we want!”

Me: “You want a six-inch then.”

Woman #2: “No! We want half!”

(This goes on for about some more minutes. They end up getting a six-inch each and then demanding that I give them the deal I’d offered. In the end, they both paid full price, mumbling about my incompetence.)