H2-OMG Just Take The Water!

(I work in a restaurant as a hostess. Sometimes customers start throwing their orders at me as soon as they come in, so I offer to get them glasses of water to make up for the fact that I’m not allowed to take their orders. A couple of regulars come in and start doing this as I’m seating them at their table.)

Woman: “I’d like a sweet tea and bowl of vegetable soup to start.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not able to process your meals; however, I can start you off with a glass of water while you wait for your server to arrive, if you’d like.”

Woman: “Sure, we’d like half.”

(She waves me away without explaining what “half” means, so I’m left having to guess at what she wants for her and her husband. After a minute, I return to their table with two glasses filled halfway with ice and the rest with water. The woman looks at me funny as I set them down.)

Woman: “No, I said I wanted half. These aren’t half.”

Me: “Oh, sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll fix these right away.” 

(I go back to the drink fountain and fill their glasses halfway with water, still attempting to figure out what “half” meant. I bring the glasses back to their table again and she huffs, looking at me with an annoyed expression.)

Woman: “No, these still aren’t right. I said I wanted half; this isn’t half.” 

(I have customers who need to be seated waiting at the door, so I finally decide to ask this lady what she means by “half”.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m afraid I don’t understand exactly what you mean by ‘half.’ Could you explain one more time?”

(She gives a rude sigh and rolls her eyes.)

Woman: “I said I wanted half. A glass with just ice, filled halfway. My husband wants the glass filled. Was that so difficult?”

(I take a silent deep breath as I fix their waters yet again and take them to the couple’s table. The woman finally seems content with what I brought her.)

Woman: “There, finally.” 

(The husband gave me an apologetic look and I finally got to seat my waiting customers. To this day, I still wonder how she expected anyone to get “one half glass of ice and one full glass of water” from “I want half.” Needless to say, I stopped offering to get anybody a glass of water after that.)