Gunning For Your Job

(My partner has been working at the same place for ten years, ever since he got out of the marines. Last summer his old boss, who was great, retired. The new boss is… not so great. In fact, the new boss has announced that he’s a “new broom,” and it’s pretty clear that he would like any excuse to get rid of all the old staff and start with a whole new crew. He bullies other employees, and it frustrates him that my partner is older, bigger, and impossible to bully. One day he accuses my partner of bringing a handgun to work, a complete fabrication. As it happens, I’m present.)

New Boss: “I know you hate my guts! I can tell by the way you look at me that you’d just love to kill me, wouldn’t you?”

Me: *very quietly* “What makes you think he needs a gun?”

(Probably not the smartest thing to say, but the look on the man’s face was worth it.)