Guilty Of Not Doing The Reading

, , , , | Legal | April 30, 2020

My mother is a prosecutor working for the UK Crime & Prosecution service. On this particular occasion, the person on trial is a “Freeman-On-The-Land,” a person who claims that no English law save “common law” is valid. These people often produce documents which they claim trump statute law.

This particular defendant is pleading “not guilty” on the basis of his own law code. He’s presenting evidence that follows the strange rules of the FOTL. Unfortunately for him, my mother does her research.

Lawyer: “The defendant would like to present a signed affidavit.”

The lawyer hands it to my mother, who gives it a look.

Mum: “Sorry, I can’t accept this.”

Defendant: “Why not?!”

Mum: “Well, that’s not robins-egg blue paper, is it? And this signature is definitely not your own blood. It’s not valid.”

There is a pause. The defendant and the lawyer have a quick chat.

Lawyer: “My client would like to change his plea to guilty. He knows when he’s beat!”

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