Guardians Of The Advance Schedules

(I’m working the box office at my movie theater. A few days after “Guardians of the Galaxy” has left our theater, a man, in his mid-30s I’d say, approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi! I heard there’s going to be a second “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Can I get a ticket to the opening night?”

Me: “I’m really sorry. They only recently announced the sequel was being made, so we won’t be able to sell you tickets to it, since it won’t be out for a few years.”

Customer: “I know it’s not coming out for a few years… I want advance tickets to it.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I can’t sell you tickets to it, since we won’t have it on our schedule for quite some time.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand… I want an ADVANCE ticket.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry. We don’t sell advance tickets for a film until usually about a month before it comes out.”

Customer: “ADVANCE TICKET TO GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2!”

Me: “I really can’t sell you a ticket to it now. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “JUST GIVE ME THE D*** ADVANCE TICKET!”

Me: “I can’t, sir.”

Customer: “GET ME A MANAGER NOW!”

(I call a manager, who spends several minutes explaining to the customer that we can’t sell tickets several years in advance.)

Customer: *as he leaves* “This is the most r****ed movie theater ever!”

(The customer subsequently called our theater later in the day to complain that he couldn’t buy advanced tickets to the movie online, and demanded a free pass. He wasn’t given one.)