Gringo Bingo
Our bar has a monthly ‘bad customer’ bingo board, right next to the display liquor on the wall behind the bar, in plain view for all customers to see. Most customers don’t see it, but most customers are well-behaved enough to not need to see it.
A customer orders a round of beers for his friends and himself. He orders in Spanish, as he knows I can speak it, and it’s easier all round. After I’ve served them and made some small talk, I move over to serving another customer.
Customer: *In English.* “You know, if you speak Spanish to them, word will get around, and then this will become a Mexican bar. You don’t want that.”
I just stare at him, waiting for him to realize what he said isn’t cool.
Customer: *Getting defensive.* “What? I’m just saying.”
Me: *Shouting to the rest of my guys and gals at the bar.* “Did y’all hear that?!”
Coworker: “I did! Stamp it out!”
I go up to the bingo board and put a little tick next to the square that says:
Square: “Customer says something bigoted, followed by ‘That’s just my opinion’/’I’m just saying’.”
The customer, now seeing the bingo board for the first time, suddenly feels embarrassed about being called out like that.
Customer: “Hey! That’s not cool!”
Me: “Why?”
Customer: “You… you can’t just call out customers like that! You make me sound like… like… well, not like that!”
Me: “Like what?”
Customer: *Pointing to the board.* “It’s not wrong for me to just say how I feel!”
Me: “No one here is stopping you! In fact, I’m glad that you did! If we get a bingo this month, the boss takes us all out to dinner! It’s a reward for putting up with…” *Points at the bingo board.* “…all of that.”
Customer: “I’m not part of your game!”
Me: “You said the thing, you don’t have a choice.”
Customer: *Standing up and walking out.* “I’m never drinking here again, then!”
I beam a huge smile. The customer realizes what he’s done as I reach over and tick off another bingo square.
Square: “Customer says, ‘I’m never coming back!/You just lost a customer’!”
Me: “Thank you! I think that’s a bingo! Now the boss has to take us out to dinner! We’re going Mexican this time!”
It looks like the customer is about to swear at us, but then his eyes quickly dart to the board, sees that the ‘Customer cusses abusively’ square is also yet to be closed, and storms out.
We do so love weaponizing their bad behavior against them.
