Grin And Bear It

As I am scanning a customer’s items:

Customer: “Does the discount come off at the end?”

Me: “What discount, sir?”

Customer: *Smiling sinisterly.* “The buy one get one free deal. That’s why I’m buying so many of these.”

Me: “That deal ended last week, sir.”

Customer: *Smiling intensifying.* “But I just told you, that’s why I’m buying so many of these.”

Me: “Did you want to cancel the purchase?”

Customer: *Smile gaining its own sentience.* “No, I want you to honor the original deal.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Customer: *Smile developing its own baby smiles.* “Then fetch a manager who can.”

I do so, getting freaked out by the smile. The manager comes over and explains that the deal is indeed over as of a week ago.

Customer: “Then do something for me.”

Manager: “I’m afraid all I can do is direct you to corporate, who set the prices and dates of the sales.”

Customer: *Smile now sending grown smiles off to college.* “Why would I complain to corporate about prices when I have some perfectly functioning employees here? You can change them for me.”

Manager: “Sir, I’m afraid you’ll have to speak to the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

Customer: *Smile FINALLY fades.* “Then to Hell with you all!”

He dramatically turns heel and storms out like a villain in a Shakespearean tragedy.

Me: “Wow. I feel so creeped out.”

Manager: “I’ve seen both Smile movies and a few Miss Universe contests, and that was the creepiest smile I’ve ever seen…”