Green It, Demean It

(It’s parent-teacher night at my school. My mother has come and makes a beeline for my English teacher’s room.)

My Mom: “Hi, I’m [my mom’s name], [my name’s] mother.”

Teacher: “I’m Mr. [teacher’s name]. I’m the English teacher for freshman and sophomores.”

My Mom: “My daughter tells me you’ve let her read Romeo & Juliet out loud to the class?”

Teacher: “Yes, they actually pay attention.”

My Mom: “Speaking of paying attention, my daughter came home with a green hand the other day and said she did it in your class. Why didn’t you stop her?”

Teacher: “To be honest, ma’am, I was surprised she could have the attention span to color her entire hand with a marker and actually pay attention to the assignment at the same time.”

My Mom: “Why didn’t you stop her? Her hand was green for days!”

Teacher: “By not saying anything, I just taught your daughter never to color her hand again.”

(My mom was mad that other parents in the room started laughing, but it’s true. I never did it again.)