Great (And Unrealistic) Expectations

A customer comes up to me holding a pregnancy test.

Customer: “Can I use your toilet to take this test?”

Me: “Our toilets are staff-only, and you’ll have to buy the test before you can use it.”

Customer: “I promise I’ll buy it if only I can use your toilet!”

Me: “Ma’am, buy the test, and then you can go to the public toilets in the mall next door.”

She starts cursing at me as she leaves.

Customer: “If anything happens to the baby, it’ll be your fault!”