Grape Expectations

(I’m behind the register when a teenage girl comes up with her mother. While I watch, the girl tells her mom to get her one of the ‘grape ones’.)

Mother: “I’d like one of your grape cigars.”

Me: “Alright.” *to the girl* “I just need to see your ID.”

Girl: “She’s the one who’s buying, not me!”

Me: “That doesn’t matter. I know she’s buying it for you, so I need to know if you’re over eighteen.”

Mother: “That’s stupid! This is the only place that sells them around here. I’m not wasting my gas driving somewhere else. If you don’t sell me those, I’m going to call the cops and they’ll make you sell me a grape cigar!”

Me: “Ma’am, feel free to tell the cops that I won’t sell your under-aged daughter a cigar.”