Grandma Won’t Let The Lube Slide

(I’m working the register at a drug store that’s part of a national chain. Our store is pretty well known for printing receipts that are as long as your arm, with coupons relating to many prior purchases, for our members. I’m checking out a young woman. She enters her phone number for the membership, then freezes.)

Customer: “Actually… could you take that off?”

Me: “I’m sorry? I haven’t started scanning yet. Which item do you want me to take off?”

Customer: “I can’t use that membership.”

Me: “Ma’am, it was a valid membership. You’re fine to use it.”

Customer: “No… No, please just take the membership off.”

Me: “Are you trying to cancel your membership? It doesn’t automatically renew, so if you’re not interested in continuing, you just need to wait until it expires on its own–“

Customer: *very red-faced* “This is a family account, okay? My grandmother’s on it. I can’t apply the membership.”

(I follow her gaze down to see that, among her items, she’s got several packs of condoms and a bottle of lubricant. The penny drops. Our algorithm being what it is, whoever comes in and uses her membership number will start getting coupons for those about a month later.)

Me: “I’ll just cancel the sale and we can start over, all right?”