Grandma Is Telling Porkies

A customer who speaks very little English approaches the counter and types something into a translation app. He shows the screen to my teenage coworker.

Customer: *Pointing to a bacon cheeseburger.*

Phone: “Does this contain pork?”

Coworker: “No.”

I rush to step in.

Me: “Wait! Bacon is pork!”

Coworker: “No, it isn’t. Bacon is bacon.”

Me: “Bacon comes from a pig.”

Coworker: “I know that.”

Me: “And meat from a pig is pork.”

Coworker: “But ‘pork’ just means, like, pork chops. Pork’s gotta be in the name if it’s pork.”

We quickly explain the mistake to the customer and change his order without issue.

Coworker: “Oh, so bacon is technically pork?”

Me: “It’s not technically pork, it is pork.”

Coworker: “So when my grandma says she’s giving up pork for lent every year but she has crispy bacon for breakfast every day?”

Me: “Depends. Is she the one that told you pork has to be called pork?”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Yeah… grandma is lyin’, honey.”