Grandma Is Playing The Waiting Game

(I am visiting my grandma. Her friends decide to take us out a popular seafood place, and end up with a really cute waiter.)

Waiter: “And what would you like, ma’am?”

Grandma: “Give me the lobster! And make sure it’s super-hot, like you!”

Me: “Grandma!”

Waiter: *blushes* “Y-yes, ma’am.”

(The waiter scurries off, and my grandma’s friends all laugh among themselves.)

Friend #1: “His face was so red! You might get him on the plate instead of the lobster!”

(Later, our waiter brings us our food.)

Waiter: “Ma’am, would you like a bib for your lobster?”

Grandma: “Ooh, yes, please! Apply the protection for me!”

Me: “GRANDMA!”

(All her friends were laughing hysterically. The waiter avoided us for the rest of the night!)