Graded An Iron ‘E’

(We are in a freshman year English class, learning about theater. Specifically, verbal irony.)

Classmate #1: “Verbal irony is, like, when you say ‘I hate irony,’ and someone comes up behind you and brains you with an iron ‘e’.”

Classmate #2: “What? No! That doesn’t make sense.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s just an awful pun.”

Teacher: “Okay, everyone. Verbal irony is when a character says one thing, and means another.”

(There is general muttering among the class as everyone tries to find a good example, in between arguing about why the iron ‘e’ isn’t one.)

Classmate #3: “Isn’t that just sarcasm?”

Teacher: “No, not exactly.”

Me: “It’s like when somebody tells a terrible joke about an iron ‘e’ and you say ‘Oh, yes, very funny,’ isn’t it?”

(The class erupts in laughter.)

Classmate #2: *to [Classmate #1]* “That one’s all on you, buddy.”