Government Is Going To Cone For You

(A customer in her mid-50s comes into the shop and begins looking around at all the varieties of ice cream.)

Me: “Hi, do you know what you’d like?”

Customer: “I sure do! I need some butter pecan in a waffle cone.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any waffle cones at this moment. Our waffle cone machine broke and we had to send it back to get another. We have cake and sugar cones, though.”

Customer: “No, a ‘waaaaa-ffle’ cone. Waffle. Right here!” *points to sugar cones*

Me: “Oh, a sugar cone! Sure thing, coming right up!”

Customer: “No! Not a sugar cone! Waffle! Why won’t you give me what I want?! It’s the government, I tell you! They’re playing these evil mind tricks! I won’t fall for it, though! I won’t! I want a waffle cone!”

Me: *grabs sugar cone* “Yes, ma’am.”

(My coworker returns from her break, only having heard the last bit from the customer saying she wanted a waffle cone.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have any waffle cones right now.”

Customer: “Not you, too! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!” *storms out*

Coworker: “Well, that escalated quickly.”