Gotta Catechize ‘Em All
I’m working in a video game store, and I overhear a boy of ten years old, shopping with his grandmother. I know he’s ten as he’s holding a tenth birthday card, containing all his birthday cash.
The boy picks out a game.
Grandma: “What game is that?”
Boy: “Pokémon.”
Grandma: “Is it holy?”
Boy: “Yes, the Pokémon are fallen angels, and it’s your job to find them, put them in a holy shell, and train them to become angels again by fighting demons.”
Grandma: “Oh, very good.”
I’m smirking to myself, thinking this kid is smart. He’s obviously figured out how to bypass the overly religious grandmother.
The boy picks out another game.
Grandma: “What game is that?”
Boy: “Elden Ring.”
Grandma: “Is it holy?”
Boy: “Yes, it’s about a holy knight riding around and killing demons.”
Grandma: “Oh, very good.”
He picks out his final game.
Grandma: “What game is that?”
Boy: “Call of Duty: Black Ops.”
Grandma: “Is it holy?”
I’m listening in, thinking how he’s going to spin this one for Grandma.
Boy: “Yes. You kill Muslims.”
Grandma: “Oh! Very good! Get that one!”
Eeeeek!
When he came up with all three, I pointed out to Grandma that two of them were rated M for mature.
Grandma: “It’s fine. He’s doing The Lord’s work.”
The boy was giving me a ‘c’mon, let it slide!’ kinda look. I let him spend his birthday money on the games (I was also playing ‘mature’ games when I was his age so I kinda related) but d***, kid, maybe don’t try to use Grandma’s bigotry to get your action shooter?
