Got Yourself Into A Bit Of An Unhygienic Pickle

(My three-year-old daughter sticks out her hand.)

Child: “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.”

(Since she is eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and wash them with antibacterial soap. After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I ask, with a touch of awe:)

Me: “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?”

Child: *between bites* “I hit it with my pickle.”

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